I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
