I think my vagina is haunted
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
