I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Randomize
