sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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