But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize
