Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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