Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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