Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
