I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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