operation have a gay friend backfired
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Randomize
