Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
