I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
