Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
