Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I believe in your delicious
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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