I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
