Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I think i got beer on your cat.
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