Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
