Duck Duck Cougar?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
