So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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