It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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