Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
