Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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