watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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