I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
