Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
