fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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