Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Randomize
