when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
