i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
