when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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