Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize