Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
