with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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