i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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