Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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