We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize