Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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