Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize