You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Randomize
