So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
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Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
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And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
A bitchslap is in order.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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