one might say we're banned from that church
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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