i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
