he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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