wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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