some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
