I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
