Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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