I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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