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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?

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• (845): View more from New York

  its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth

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• (561): View more from Florida

  Bad news is he broke up with me via text message

  (561): View more from Florida

  But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville

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• (850): View more from Florida

  does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.

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• (320): View more from Minnesota

  I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.

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• (418): View more from Quebec

  You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.

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• (585): View more from New York

  Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!

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• (469): View more from Texas

  I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.

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