I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
