so let's talk penis.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
That's how pantless uber rides happen