How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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