But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
