My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
