I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
