I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
