you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
operation have a gay friend backfired
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
